What Exactly is Meditation?


Sunrise over the Eastcape

In my upcoming blog posts I want to share my own articulation of several important aspects about “life lived with a deep meditation practice”. What is the nature and the character of the “transformations”, those permanent and liberative changes that naturally arise when someone has a regular and consistent meditation practice? How does that work exactly? What is the science of that transformation, the astonishing and precious gifts of that process over time? Is it predictable and effective for everyone? Or is happenstance, working for some and not for others?


Those are important questions. A clear understanding of exactly how meditation works is probably the central purpose of my writing this blog. So that is coming very soon. And another topic to be addressed very soon is: How does one learn to meditate in this manner I am referring to. Why is it taught only directly from teacher to student in person, and not in a book or online course, etc? I will address this consideration also very soon.


In the meantime if you wish to learn more about the specific meditation practice tradition I practice, Neelakantha meditation, you are invited to visit www.bluethroatyoga.com . It is the modern day iteration, from a direct and ancient lineage stream, authentically grounded in the non-dual Kashmir Shaiva-tantra teachings.


For today, the question is: What exactly is meditation? It appears that every spiritual and religious tradition, at least on their esoteric experiential or what is called “mystical” side, has some form of meditative practice that is central to their tradition. We honor and respect all of these traditions. I would offer that all forms of meditative practice, in all of their variety, all do offer benefits to their practitioners. Out of respect for these traditions, whether new or old, I will not make comparisons nor offer any opinion regarding any specific tradition or form of meditation.


However, I will attempt to make clear the distinct categories of practices appropriate for different groups. I am specifically referring to the differences between meditation practice designed for and appropriate to those persons who are living as a renunciate: Those rare individuals who have chosen to turn away from the entire outer world to live as renunciates path (nivritti marg). Whether as a wandering “swami”, or in a cloister or ashram, “renouncing” relative life, possessions and society, etc.


In contrast, the vast majority of meditative and yogic practitioners are “householders” (pravritti marg). They have professions, trades or other means of livelihood. They maintain homes and have families, etc. and assume all of the responsibilities of a fully-engaged life. The tantra teachings and practices, including the meditation practices I am discussing, are 100% for householders. They support and enhance householder life. They nourish the expansioun of life towards complete fulfillment in every domain. While the practices for renunciates, including their meditation approach, mantras, etc., are completely incompatible with householder life! This is very important to understand. So it will be thoroughly discussed in a future blog post. The practice of renunciate methods by householders has caused much harm to their lives. And this continues to happen today simply because this is not well understood.


Let me be clear about what I am not here calling “meditation”. The word meditation is often used for a variety of practices in different contexts. “Guided imagination or visualization” is one example. This is when one leading person suggests that participants visualize specific places, conditions, or events. The thought-forms evoke certain moods or emotional states from memory. This can be very pleasant, can invoke experiences of peace or happiness, and can release physical stress from the body, etc. It can be s very enjoyable, and arguably is beneficial in a short-term way. But it is not meditation.


“Contemplation” is another practice that is often confused with meditation. This is when a topic, theme, or profound questions is explored within one’s own mind and awareness field. It can result in the arising of intuitive insight, sometimes of a profound nature. This can be a beautiful and powerful practice. Especially so, if the person already has a stabilized meditation practice in place. In this regard it can be a powerful add-on practice to their meditation. But we consider it to be separate and distinct from the core practice of deep meditation.


Self-inquiry (or “self-enquiry”) is the practice of contemplation specifically on the true nature of our own self. What is our truest and highest self-identity? What is it actually that I am? Who and what AM I? This also is a form of contemplation. The practice can result in the invaluable realization that “I am not my physical body. I am not my relative mind”. I am not my possessions, nor the sum of my various “roles” in life. I am something beyond . . .” Numerous amazing and highly enlightened teachers of past and modern eras, and from many diverse traditions or lineage streams, have advocated and praised this practice. (Ramana Maharishi and Adyashanti to name just two.) Yet we will notice, in studying their lives and teachings, that these same teachers did have a personally-taught meditation practice that they practiced with regularity and devotion over a span of years. Self-inquiry, like other forms of contemplation, are empowered and made capable by the existence of a prior established and consistent meditation practice.


Action or activities are frequently referred to as meditation. Especially physical activities (or repose) in nature. Such things as climbing, skiing, surfing, trail running, cycling etc. we often hear referred as “That is my meditation.” Well yes! I myself do all of those activities, and know that they can bring us into a harmonious and beautiful state of “flow”. They are beautiful dimensions of life that transcend our problems and challenges. I celebrate all of them (and more). And saying that they are “our meditation” communicates a lot about this. But these activities are not what I am referring to as meditation in this blog. That is something altogether beyond.


In the Shaiva tantra teachings meditation is called the “stambha” practice, meaning the “central pillar” or trunk of the tree that supports the entire grouping of practices of an individual. The entire configuration of practices: meditation plus study, yoga asana, chanting or mantra repetition, pranayama, and forms of selfless-service: whatever an individual might rightly choose as forms of practice, is together called their “sadhana”. That is the full mandala or circle of one’s body of practices. At the center of this, and actually completely sufficient in itself, is the regularity of deep daily meditation. Even if it is just for a few minutes each day.


So I offer the following as a working definition of deep tantric meditation: The practice of turning attention within, in the inward direction of one’s own awareness, to access the transcendent source-place of our own Self. That Source is the infinite unbounded and universal Consciousness itself.


Meditation then, is the method and practice of turning attention within, within one’s own awareness field, and thereby to progressively traverse from ordinary outer, or gross and thought-dominated levels of consciousness, and moving towards and into the finer vibratory levels of awareness. This is done as a regular practice in order to access and receive the benefits of contact with the Source of our own Consciousness: our own transcendent source-Self within. Thereby do we cause the upliftment, liberation and transformation of our lives altogether, in every dimension of expression.


This definition is very general and is lacking in specifics of the method that is taught. There is a reason for this, which I will cover in my next blog post. We shall also soon address how meditation actually works to accomplish the transformation of life. How does Samadhi, the inward melting of awareness into the sublime wholeness of non-separative Consciousness actually work? And it works for everybody, effortlessly and naturally.

My other passion: Kitesurfing

The Mirror Within

Consciousness and The Holographic self-identity within the Skull

Full moon in Crescent statue – East Cape of Baja

What are the most important questions in life? What is so fundamental that everything else, all forms of knowledge and understanding, pivot on the answer?

For example, the Buddha’s inquiry (stated one way) was: Can any meaning or value be found in human life that is sufficiently profound to retain its value even in the face of our own mortality? What meaning does not wither, even beyond death? (Great Discourse on the Foundations of Mindfulness)

Rita Ghatuurey wrote (and quoted beautifully by Johnny Depp in the movie Don Juan de Marco): “There are only four questions of value in life. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: Only love.”

One question that we consider now, arises in the consideration of our own nervous system, our own body-mind and the activities of our “mind’. I offer this question as being of paramount importance to each of us:
Q: Is conscious awareness an epi-phenomenon, an emergent by-product, of the neurological activities of the brain and the nervous system?
Or alternatively, is consciousness, awareness itself, a fundamental prior-existing principle, within which all reality arises?
Could all the limited and relative forms that comprise the universe, including our own body-minds, exist within an underlying self-aware universal field of Consciousness? Because if that is the fundamental truth of the whole universe, then everything else must be considered in that wondrous light.
Everything hinges upon this question. Is it even possible to know the answer to this definitively?

The brain and neuro-biology, scientists proclaim with near universal agreement, that conscious awareness must arise from neurological activities within the brain. Yet no one has been able to offer an explanation for how this could be. They offer only that when the interconnections within the brain become sufficiently complex, that what is called consciousness, including self-awareness, seems to arise spontaneously. Yet when closely examined, all admit that it is not at all understood nor explained by any known mechanism. It is a problem for them.

Well the great tantric meditation masters, particularly of the Shaiva traditions of Kashmir that we study, have intuited and “seen”, fully realized within the experience of their own deep introversive meditation, the direct personal experiential knowledge that Awareness is the ground-of-being of the entire manifest universe. All arises within and is composed of nothing else but the vibratory forms, the crystallized thickened condensates of Consciousness alone. That is the fundamental underlying the “radical non-dualism” of Shaiva-Tantra. (As it is also for the tradition of Advaita Vedanta. Advaita meaning “not-two”.)

Ksemaraja, a great teacher of the Shaiva-Tantra over 1000 years ago, formulated 20 aphorisms, or sutras, summarizing the teachings in a simple direct articulation. In his Pratyabijña Hridayam (The Heart of Teachings on the Recognition of the Divine), in the very first sutra declares: “Citih Svatantra Vishva-Siddhi-Hetuh”.
“Awareness, independent and free, is the cause of the performance of everything.”
The first time I was taught this sutra, I found it to be the most radical, revolutionary and profound realization ever articulated. This single principle, eventually resonated so deeply within me as being a fundamental truth, that it transformed and brought into crystal clarity the very nature of life, of the universe, and of my own self.

(This fundamental understanding, and its myriad implications, are articulated and expounded in so many beautiful teachings, in many ways and from various viewpoints, in various texts of the Shaiva-tantra tradition.)

Furthermore, the direct personal living experience and realization of this truth is available to all persons today, as ever, within their own living laboratory of exploration into the essence nature of reality. This is done via the properly learned and cultivated practice of deep authentic meditation, that was developed in this tradition and today we call, Neelakantha Meditation.

Yet I find that it is also possible to see the truth of this core principle even in the field of outer human knowledge and logical consideration. Perhaps a truth in the absolute realm is mirrored as truth in even relative areas of knowledge. So let us now consider the operations of the marvelously complex human brain and nervous system.

Imagine a mirror with near-magical qualities. Not only can this mirror reflect back light and color to our eyes to see reflected images of whatever is place in front of it (including our own body and face). But consider a mirror that could also reflect the other senses: It could reflect sound, touch, taste and fragrance as well as visual form! And further this mirror can assemble the reflection into a 3 dimensional virtual-reality that we can move through and interact with any reflected objects in our physical and even emotional environment.

The “Mirror” of Consciousness is a very old teaching metaphor. (A “nyaya” is a teaching principle, a corollary or metaphor, used in the the yogic and tantric traditions to facilitate understanding.) Tantra as well as the prior teachings of Yoga offered that the experience of lived relative reality, including what we see as “nature” or the universe, is a reflected image presented to us in “the sky of Consciousness”. And as it says in the texts: “The Moon reflected upon the waters is not the actual moon.” Pointing to the underlying principle that Consciousness is the fundamental reality.
Here I am proposing that the brain can also be seen as a “mirroring mechanism” reflecting our present outer reality, and all of our past remembered experiences, into the arena of thought. This we call “the mind”.

In Sanskrit, a mirror of any kind is called “darpana”. It can refer to the reflection of the moon or mountain on the surface of water. Of a reflecting surface of a metal surface, or of a crystal. It also refers to the reflective nature of consciousness, in the teachings of yoga and tantra.

This can be a difficult concept to visualize. How does the field of Consciousness itself become expressed and perceived as the experienced reality? The macro-cosmic teaching is that the entire manifest universe, within which all physical and even subtle relative existence, is a crystallization or condensation of Consciousness itself. The existing world is a reflection within and composed only of that formless mysterious Absolute.

In the masterful text of Shaivism, The Tantrāloka of Abhinava Gupta teaches in the 3rd chapter:
“Thus, this entire cosmic existence, (the) total universe, is a reflection in the pure Sky of Consciousness of Lord Bhairava without the intervention, support or assistance of anything else whatsoever.” (Ahn. III verse 65) “Bhairava” is one of the many names for Śhiva in this tradition. Shiva represents the Absolute Consciousness in its full essence-nature, rather than just the mythologic deity form to which it is connected.

Well, on a human scale, we have our own micro-cosmic mirroring mechanism. So that we can now consider the nature of living in a “reflection” of the world around us:
The neurological mechanisms of the brain assemble and correlate the sensory streams, and compute patterns of trillions of correlations from the synaptic connections between cortical neurons. The emotional and feeling component provides additional layers of coloring to experience, including bodily response to the concepts and assembled images. Memory provides temporal reference from our past, influencing how they are valued and assessed.

Inside of our skulls, where physical light has never penetrated, our some 86 billion neurons are constantly performing this amazing feat. They are assembling all of our neurological inputs into a coherent representation, a holographic, almost real-time, sense of our living physical self. (Of these, about 16 billion are cortical neurons. These have synaptic connections with each other forming a neural network with hundreds of trillions of connections! It is about on the same order of interconnections as the entire internet with all computers connected to it. And all within a single human skull!)

The sensory streams interact and receive neural encoded inputs from the manifest physical world: Light is encoded in retinal receptors, rods and cones. Color, light, contrast, shape, form and movement are translated into patterns of optical neuron firings. Sound waves are encoded in the cochlea hair cells of the inner ear and then activate patterns of auditory neurons. Taste receptors on the tongue encode chemical aspects of foods. And olfactory receptors recognize the molecular vibration patterns of molecules entering the nose. A variety of touch senses create patterns of neuron activations for pressure, temperature, and pain throughout the body.
Internal additional senses gather information about muscle tensions, position of joints, our orientation to gravity, and changes in motion or acceleration, etc. (Yes, there are actually more than the 5 main senses.) All of this information is “digital”. Neurons either “fire” or they do not. They have no other language.

All of these input patterns are modulated and catalogued and compared to our past experiences and memory banks. Conceptual identities are imposed upon recognized patterns in accordance with our expectations. That chair is the chair. That cat is the cat. A coherent self-narrative is assembled, colored and interpreted.

All of this happens in the present moment in our brains. The sense of self-identity, our perceived image of ourself and our relation to the physical world, is constructed from the neurological inputs.
This sense-of-self is stamped with an idea of persistence through time: Memory traces of past experience create the personal history: the perceived “past”. Relationships between actions are correlated with experience and allows fabricated expectations of future possibilities to be considered. What might happen? What if? This is called imagination, predictive or even creative thinking.

This is all a “virtual reality” experience inside our own skulls, in the network of neurologic representations. Fundamentally, on the physical level, the brain is acting as a 4 dimensional (3D-space, plus time) holographic mirror of the outer world. The world we see and know physically is not the “outer” physical world itself. But this is a marvelous construction formed of concepts and information. We may call this the constructed (or “vikalpa”, meaning conceptual) self-identity. Neurologists and other brain researchers call the mystery of how this neuron activity inside the skull is “assembled” into a coherent and consistent self-identity image that seems to endure through our life as “the great binding-problem of neurology”. How is it all “bound together”, filtered and packaged so seamlessly? This is not fully understood because one region of processing does not know what the other regions and sensory streams are to be providing. Yet it all comes together with a perception of seamless unity. We fill-in the gaps and the blanks.

Ahamkara, in the teachings of yoga, refers to the mind function of the egoic identity-maker: It literally means the “I-Maker”. It provides the intrinsic self-recognition within the neurological assembled-self that includes the constancy of recognition: “This is my experience”. “This is my life and body and mind.” This corresponds to the neurological self-identity within the brain that is an assembled and seemingly enduring sense-of-myself. We could call this the operating-self or conceptual-self. But it is a complex relative structure composed only of correlated and assembled concepts, digitally encoded at the physical level. (The subtle or energetic body may have corresponding forms in terms of vibrational energy patterns, irrespective of physical neurons. But this will not be explored here.)

The ahamkara is then, that which makes possible self-recognition and identity. (“This is me; my experience; my life; my body, etc”.) It is the same function that makes recognition of “other” (objective-reality, “out-there”, you, them, not-me, etc.) This one function of mind, the I-maker, fragments the unity of life, and even the fabric of the universe and of Consciousness, for that matter.

There is no awareness in the neurologic network of activities in the brain. Just inputs, configurations, assembled concepts and ideas, and outputs. Remembered configurations create the perceived “past”. Possible options that might arise or be caused, create a sense of “future”. But this all only happens in the present field of activity inside the skull. The Light of Awareness cannot be accounted for by the neural network, no matter how complicated and inter-connected. Intrinsically, it would be no more “conscious” than the thermostat (which is a very simple computer) in your home. Regardless of the degree of complexity no computer, not even the entire internet, has ever shown the slightest glimmer of self-awareness.

Awareness and the illuminated perception of the contents and forms within the “mind”, what is seen and known, is the sole function of Consciousness Itself! There is no physical (photon) light within the skull. Only the ever-presence of awareness itself, which illuminates everything. And this is always immediately available and present in every moment, in every experience, in every one of us. Awareness is never “not-present” in any experience. Consciousness is self-illuminating. It is the only Light of Awareness that exists. Nothing is seen or known except by Consciousness itself.

“Caitanyam-Atma” declares the 1st of the 9th century Shiva Sutras:
“Consciousness, absolute, independent and free, is the Self. Is our own Highest Self. Is the Universal Self.”
It is the Self, the final and highest identity of each of us, and it is the Self of all existence, one field of living Awareness. It is our true abiding (non-relative) identity. So we call this the Self (capital S). This is the great primary foundational truth upon which all of the Tantric teachings rest.

The only things within the brain and neural network are the encoded representations of the experiences: the present-moment sensory streams and the trace patterns of past experience (whether remembered or forgotten). They are, in every case, conceptual representations and not the thing itself. In Sanskrit these conceptual representations are called vikalpa, which means concepts and the whole process of conceptualization.

Awareness itself, that which is conscious of all and every possible “known object” is itself beyond conceptualization (“nirvikalpa”). It is literally “inconceivable”-not subject to conception. This, for me, is the proof that , conscious awareness, “the Witness”, the knower of all experience, our own true Self, is not a product of the brain, because it cannot itself be reduced to a concept. It eludes every attempt to be seen as an object within consciousness. It remains ever the silent knower of all objects and experiences. Yet it is always available to be directly known by us in meditation, when we “melt” our separative perception into sublime samadhi.

The radically non-dual teachings of Shiva-tantra of Kashmir, some of the greatest meditation masters of all time, declares that the Absolute field of Consciousness itself (which is honored and named as “Shiva”) is the only existing thing or principle that can never be made an “object” within Consciousness. Rather, all objects of experience, from physical material objects to the subtlest of thoughts, are nothing other than vibrational forms arising within, and composed only of, that living, self-aware, bliss-filled operating-force of Consciousness. It is unbounded, never-changing and cannot die. It is this we investigate and open to in our deep meditation practice. And it is marvelous beyond words.

Why I meditate: The Caterpillar


Yesterday I was hiking at a local state park on a riverside trail with my wife and we encountered a beautiful, multi-colored furry caterpillar slinking across the path. A risky journey given that there were many hungry birds about. Not to mention hikers like us tromping by.

I have been thinking of how I might adequately answer the question: “Why meditate?” And it occurred to me that this caterpillar could provide an answer. My wife and I had an extended discussion of the incredible transformation of the caterpillar into the beautiful butterfly. Of how the caterpillar could not possibly envision the butterfly it is to become. Yet what guides and enables this mysterious process, with this curious intermediate form so essential to its future destiny? It seems that the butterfly could not complete its own development in one embryonic span. It needed to acquire more resources: more food, more energy, more strength, more capacity before becoming the butterfly.

It is as though the insect’s personal evolution needed to be interrupted at this intermediate form – a simple segmented, many-footed slinking eating-machine. It is perfectly adapted to crawling up branches and devouring leaves. Taking in nutrient molecules filled with energy, with moisture, with building materials for what is to come. A destiny it surely cannot envision as it eats and enjoys this intermediate existence and life. Probably it would believe that its existence is full and complete as a caterpillar. Yet one day it has enough of this. Something beyond calls to it, mysterious, inexplicable, yet undeniable.

Perhaps it feels the calling possibility of transformation. Something it cannot ignore. So many of us have, as children, placed a caterpillar into a jar on a branch with a few leaves. Holes poked in the lid for air. And over days we watched the creature weave its own cocoon: a turning-within to a chrysalis form that has the very appearance of death. It is a going within, a turning-away from the outside world from the only, if limited, life it has ever known.

We know the rest of the story. The silent transformation that takes place in that tiny sanctuary, in its own little self-generated cave. A transformation that takes time and follows a sequence dictated by the intelligence, not of the creature’s limited mind, but intelligence woven in the fabric of nature itself. And then there is the struggle to emerge. We know that is hard, yet unstoppable. The juices and life-energy are squeezed by the very struggle to expand and open the beautiful wings that will carry it forward. We know that without that struggle the wings will not be formed. The insect would be shriveled and unable to fly.

Yet the magnificence does open and is revealed. And now it can fly! It can fly thousands of miles, from the northern to the southern hemisphere, to its home forest where its fulfillment will be complete.

The parallels to our own human journey are clear: to the transformation that is made possible by our own daily “going within” in our exquisite, transformative meditation practice; And to the unfolding and the challenging sequences that progressively releases our old limited life and identity. It is by this that we may emerge into the liberated magnificent fullness of our own lives.

We know that such liberation and beauty are possible in human life. We see examples in extraordinary individuals such as in Maharishi, in Gurumayi, in so many other enlightened teachers of every era. Today Pope Francis is such an example. With almost every one, if we study their lives, we find a period of contemplative inward focus, of going within. A period usually of some years of extended inward reflection that was transformative in their life. And only from this process, and their personal struggle to release former limiting identities and ways of being, did they emerge as liberated, and yes, magnificent beautiful beings. This is why I meditate.


Svatantra Life

Version 2
Paul Van Camp MD

My name is Paul Van Camp. This blog will be my personal sharing of a life lived and transformed via the practices of deep meditation. Specifically of the deeply-effective, natural, easeful method of meditation that was perfected in Kashmir 1000 years ago. There in the valley of Srinagar, master “scientists of Consciousness” refined and perfected the earlier meditation methods of yoga. Even then it was called the “new and easy way”. It has been passed on, in various iterations, through the centuries.

This blog is the story of my own journey and transformation of my life through meditation. And some of what I have and am learning along the way. It will be a reflection  and repository of insights from my personal journals.

This would have no meaningfulness whatsoever were it not for the fact that this powerful transformative meditation practice, and the teachings that support it, are available to people today. Indeed, it is available to us now and is called “Neelakantha” meditation. It is taught only by personal instruction from the several authorized teachers. (This may be accessed via Blue Throat Yoga (bluethroatyoga.com)

Svatantra is the Sanskrit word for “freedom”. Not the relative and limited sorts of freedom that we seek, cherish, and protect in our lives in the domains of  work, family, community, political arenas, etc. Rather it is referring to the unbounded and absolute (non-relative) freedom of the Self (capital S) of the Source of our true existence (Beingness). It is the inherent nature of what may be considered “Divine”. It is what we ourselves are in our own highest Nature.

It means literally “self-weaving”: That deepest Self that is self (“sva”) + weaving (“tantra”). So it is a reference to the deepest principle of reality that is independent: not dependent on any other principle. So it is a very beautiful word and consideration.

There will be two categories of posts: Short teachings about the “theory of the practice” of meditation, how it all works from my perspective. Then personal insights, experiences and expanding knowledge: How my life is being changed and enhanced through what I have learned.

A Brief Bio – My Journey

I am a physician by profession. Nominally retired since 2008. My professional activities are voluntary. As in the picture above, on a medical service mission to Peruvian villages in the high Andes last Spring. (And where I will be returning in 2017 with my wife, Johane and “Project Helping Hands”. It is a wonderful, non-religious, international medical service organization based in Oregon. (projecthelpinghands.org). I also provide cancer patient / survivorship support and advocacy  in my second home in Baja California, Mexico.

My medical career was varied and fulfilling: 10 years in Emergency medicine in San Diego; 7 years of volunteer tropical medicine in Africa and Family Practice; 10 years as a laser surgeon in Oregon. But in 2007 I was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. It could not be cured with surgery plus radiation plus chemotherapy. So I am living with cancer. Grateful that it is not currently aggressive. So I feel great and can live fully and enthusiastically. Like all of us, I don’t know how much more time I will be granted.

So in 2008 I decided that my journey in medicine was complete. I needed to turn from full time practice and devote myself to what was most important. What did I come into this life for? I have always known the answer to this question. Since a child I knew that the reason I was here embodied in this life was to learn about love. To learn to know, to embody and to serve the highest principle of non-conditional and universal love. It was time to turn completely to the fulfillment of that in my life.

Though some amazing teachers in the teaching traditions of Yoga, specifically teachers from the Anusara tradition. And the amazing philosophy that gave access to the pinnacle of meditation practices: that which is called the Shaiva-tantra teachings of Kashmir. Through these I found my meditation teacher: Professor Paul Muller-Ortega of Blue Throat Yoga, the thoroughly modern and thoroughly authentic iteration of these teachings and meditation practices.

After that my life has been unfolding and transforming in the most amazing, beautiful and fulfilling way. It is the caterpillar of my own small self becoming the butterfly. I want to share some glimpses of the extraordinary gifts that unfold in a life lived with this meditation practice (called Neelakantha). Thank you for your interest.